THE JOURNAL OF ALTERNATIVE, COMPLEMENTARY & INTEGRATIVE MEDICINE
This paper first appeared in the Winter edition of the 'Skeptical Intelligencer', 2022, pp 4-5.
The Journal of Alternative, Complementary & Integrative Medicine is an international open-access peer-reviewed online journal. According to its Wikipedia entry (note 1), it is 'a monthly peer-reviewed medical journal covering alternative medicine published by Mary Ann Liebert. It was established in 1995 and is the official journal of the Society for Acupuncture Research.' The same article also informs us that the US website Quackwatch (note 2) has included the journal on its list of 'non-recommended periodicals', characterizing it as 'fundamentally flawed'.
Harsh words? A paper published in the JACIM in September this year (note 3) has the intriguing title 'Allium, Argenti, et Aqua sancta: Transgressing Molecular Boundaries in Hematology Post-Alucard'. The institutions of the five authors are listed as the Royal Order of Protestant Knights, Purfleet-on-Thames, United Kingdom; the Sacred Order of The Temple Beth Zion, Krakow, Poland; and the Department of Hematology, Vlad Tepes University, Strada General Traian Mosoiu, Romania.
I imagine that had you been asked to peer review this paper you would read no further than the title and author section and inform the journal's editor that All Fools Day is April 1st (unless of course it is April 1st, in which case you might return the message 'You can't catch me out with this one!') By the way, Tepes is Romanian for 'impaler'.
OK, but to be on the safe side, you might carry on and read the abstract, which is as follows:
Even while facing issues like COVID-19 and racial strife, nations should not lose vigilance towards rare yet serious threats such as hematophagous porphyric lamia. Traditional remedies have not been rigorously, quantitatively tested, and this study fills that lacuna in the literature. We tested traditional treatments and control options against the condition, applying quantitative tests to support old hypotheses. Among the suitable pharmacopeia were garlic (Allium sativum L.), silver, holy water, and incendiary napalm Physical adjuvants such as monofilament wire and anti-tank cannons are suitable delivery systems for with positive effects on mortality and morbidity. All tools are ineffective when not wielded by skilled practitioners, and dulled when used against otherwise allies rather than in a united front against the immortal enemy. Policy implications are the continued investment on a national level in defense against legitimate natural and supernatural threats, with as minimal oversight and maximal budgetary leeway as can be maintained in secrecy.
I think this clinches it!